"O you of little faith, why did you doubt?"

So, today marks the second full day back in the Sooner State after my time at IPF in Omaha, NE. I have been working on a car that keeps breaking while also paying off a traffic ticket I received in the mail from Council Bluffs, IA, where the closest Walmart to the Creighton campus is located.

All day I have been tempted to look at this situation in a very negative context. I don't have the money to deal with this; I can't believe government has become such a "big brother" as to have video surveillance cameras at intersections; if anything else breaks on my car, I think I will have replaced the whole thing!!!!

But, as I think on the Gospel reading for the 19th Sunday in Ordinary time, about St. Peter sinking in the waves as he walked to Jesus on the water (Matt. 14), I'm reminded to think of the blessings that I received -- I could have gotten a larger ticket; my car could have broken down on the way home instead of in my driveway; what broke on my car was very fixable, and my grandpa was able to help me when I needed it the most.

Recently, I have found myself so focused on trials and fears that I forget to acknowledge the good and the providential. Like St. Peter, I too often find myself sinking in the waters of life because I fail to keep my gaze fixed on Christ, the source of blessing and strength.

It is in these moments that I realize how small my faith becomes when I turn to worldly concerns without acknowledging the help and support I receive every day from God. When I focus on the things of this world, I fail to reciprocate the gaze of Christ in his love for me. This gaze of love that I neglect and take for granted is the only thing that keeps me safe from the precipice of death. It is constant, even when I am not. It is ready to aid me, if only I cry out "Lord, save me!"

God's love transcends my capacity to understand it, and it is in this truth that I take refuge. His gaze never wavers; His love never fails. He eagerly waits for me to call upon Him and to trust in His Love for me, so that He can bid me come to Him.

"'Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.'
[Jesus] said, 'Come.'" (Matt 14:33)

Thanks be to God.