“All have sinned…”
My life is a sinful mire; a swamp of doubt, anger, lust, greed…. It consumes what is right and just and vomits out defilement and perdition. I no longer see the images of youth and beauty that once graced my soul. Those things have passed from me as quickly as the words “I will not serve” from the ethereal lips of Lucifer. Apathetically, I continue in my ways of damnation. In blatant disregard for my very soul, I dance with evil, allowing it to lead me where it will. “Pleasure! You satisfy me like nothing else! And you, Concupiscence! You guide me so eagerly and quickly!” I know I lie to myself; I know that beneath the sheepskin of fulfillment lies the wolf of enslavement and death.
“All… have fallen short…”
In a moment of clarity amidst my deranged stupor, I begin to struggle against my chains. I moan and reel from the self-inflicted damage within myself. I lean against the bonds of my sin, using all of my might to break them… nothing. I collapse again into my mire; I envelop myself with self-pity and false justifications. “I can’t help it! I have to do the things I do. I can’t overcome them; so they must be God’s Will.” With a swift juxtaposition, my mind renders my chains into merely extensions of my being; irrevocable and natural. My delusions give me purpose – my sin is my right! The glimmer of Truth vanishes once more… waiting for me… waiting…
Truth…
Again my opiate of sin is dampened enough for conscience to take hold. I see around me the scandal that I have caused, the riches that I have plundered, the hate that I have maintained internally for my own being. I feel the piercing lance of morality. I see the sins I have committed by deeds of wickedness or postures of dishonesty as nails in my hands and feet that have fastened me to my damnation. My humanity trickles out of me like blood from an open wound. “Why have I forsaken myself? How can I recover? My way has led to my destruction.” I cringe at the state of my soul, and wonder if You, Lord, could ever redeem such sin.
“Truth shall set you free!”
Awakened to my sin, and with the realization of my helplessness, I turn to You. Like a deer panting for the running streams, I yearn for the Master’s release. Like the prodigal son, I return to You and seek Your mercy and forgiveness. You take my chains of death, my nails of sin, my wounds of weakness; you take my bloody and wretched humanity… You take it, and You redeem it! You raise my dead soul to life; You bring me, a sinner, pardon and peace; You illuminate my darkness! You restore my freedom, not so that I may be a slave once more to sin, but so that I might joyfully fulfill my true mission: to know, love and serve You. Lord, You have opened my lips, so that my mouth may proclaim Your praise. Indeed I will ever praise You, and give You thanks, for You have made me a child of Light! Glory to You, my Lord and my God, for You have truly set me free!
